What should I do when my partner shuts down during an argument?
Pause, stay calm and return to the conversation when both of you are ready.
Shutting down is often a sign of feeling overwhelmed, not necessarily of not caring. Pushing harder usually makes it worse.
The aim is to lower the pressure so you can both talk calmly.
In the moment
Pause the argument and agree on a time to continue, such as in an hour or the next day. Avoid following them around or demanding answers.
When you talk again
Use a gentle tone, focus on one issue and make it clear you want to understand, not attack.
Talk about the pattern
Discuss how each of you handles conflict. If the silence is used to punish or control, name it and consider counselling.
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