How do I know if I'm in love?
Love shows up as care, trust and wanting their wellbeing, not only butterflies and obsession.
Being in love usually means you care about the other person's wellbeing as much as your own, feel safe being yourself around them and want to build a life that includes them. Strong excitement alone can be infatuation.
Infatuation tends to be fast, intense and based on an idealised picture. Love tends to grow with time and survives seeing the person's flaws.
Common signs of love
You miss them but feel secure, not anxious. You can disagree without fearing the relationship will collapse. You think in terms of "we" and support their goals.
Common signs of infatuation
You are consumed by thoughts of them, put them on a pedestal and feel panic when they are unavailable.
A simple test
Ask yourself whether you like who you are when you are with them, and whether you would still choose them on an ordinary, stressful day.
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