Lesson 1
Detecting the Spiral
Recognize the physical and mental signs that you are overthinking before you react to your partner.
Physical signals
Notice when your heart rate increases, your chest feels tight, or your focus becomes obsessive. These are markers of overthinking.
Label the story
When a thought starts like 'They are ignoring me, so they must be pulling away,' immediately label it: 'This is a story I am telling myself.' You are not the thought; you are the observer of the thought.
The reality test
Ask: what is the concrete evidence? If your partner did not text back, the evidence is only 'they have not replied.' The reason why is unknown. Admitting that you do not know the reason is a powerful way to stop your brain from manufacturing painful, inaccurate explanations. This creates a space where you can stay calm and avoid unnecessary, damaging confrontations.